Square Peg Leg in a Round Hole
Do I think she has issues? Well, you tell me - she's indelibly inked a warning to raiders of the high ass seas on her skin.
As for why she did it, I suggest you flip her over, yell "Arrrrr!" and find out for yourself.
How do you play the accordion?
Trying to Squeeze My Box in Georgia
I do not play the accordion, perhaps out of some faint and lingering respect for the sanctity of human life. However, were I to do so, I would do it in the following way.
First, I would select some location suitably far away from inhabited areas, say the North Pole - of Mars. Then, having constructed an underground concrete bunker with walls approximately twenty feet thick, the next step would be to gouge out my own eardrums with ice picks, make a will, and swallow most of a bottle of Vicodin washed down with a pint or two of Jack Daniels. After that, I would proceed with caution.
Or you could simply press the keys and squeeze the damn thing. Look it up.
How big are your boobs?
Just Curious
They are precisely as large as your dick is not: big enough.
